Two months

It's been two months since Sana left us, and they say time heals all wounds. But in my case, the pain has only deepened. For me, time has no significance; I am constantly aching. Flashes of Sana have become so frequent that I need to take medication to calm my brain and find some semblance of peace. The only other loss I have experienced that comes close was when my dad, my superhero, passed away when I was 24. It took me years to recover from that loss, but even then, it didn't feel like this. The pain of losing Sana is a different kind of agony, one that permeates every part of my being. I feel like I am in robotic mode, just going through the motions of life. There is no motivation to do anything, no joy in the activities that once brought me happiness. My days are filled with a numbness that is impossible to describe, a void that seems to grow larger with each passing day. Sana was not just my daughter; she was a part of me. Her absence has left a gaping hole that nothing can fill. Every corner of our home, every routine, every small detail reminds me of her. The scent of her favorite perfume lingers in her room, and I find myself standing there, trying to grasp onto the memories we shared. When my dad passed away, I felt lost, but I was able to eventually find my way back to a semblance of normalcy. This time, however, the pain feels insurmountable. It’s as if a part of my soul has been torn away, leaving me with a constant, unyielding sorrow. I wake up each morning hoping that maybe today will be different, that perhaps I will find a spark of motivation or a moment of joy. But the reality is that I am still very much in the throes of grief, trying to navigate a world that no longer feels familiar. Remembering Sana, I see her in everything—the way she laughed, the way she cared for others, her quiet strength and resilience. These memories bring both comfort and pain, a bittersweet reminder of the beautiful person she was and the immense void her absence has created. As I continue on this journey of grief, I hold onto the hope that one day, the pain will become more bearable. Until then, I take each day as it comes, trying to find small moments of solace in the love and memories we shared.