Sweet nothings

Every single day feels like a tribute to Sana, a way of keeping her close through her memories. Her presence lingers in our lives, especially now as we are planning a small engagement celebration for Maahir and Serena. Maahir misses her deeply, and the void her absence has created is undeniable. As the plans for the engagement move forward, Maahir confided in me that he has been dreaming of Sana almost every night. These dreams, while a bittersweet comfort, have heightened his anxiety about his upcoming trip to Italy—a place that holds such strong memories of her. To cope, I have immersed myself in spending time with Ritika and her children. Cooking meals together, watching movies, and simply being around them brings a kind of warmth that I didn’t realize I needed. It feels like a chapter of my life with Sana has been reopened. Helping Maya with her homework, working on crafts and experiments, and watching the kids play tennis instantly transports me to the days when Sana and Maahir were young. Those years were filled with innocence and joy, and revisiting similar moments now puts a balm on my heart. For a fleeting time, it gives me a semblance of happiness, a connection to a time when life felt whole. Today, I went to the local market and bought something special for Serena. As I picked it out, a familiar ache settled in—this act, once so simple, used to revolve around Sana. In the past, it was always Sana for whom I shopped. She had such a discerning eye for detail and style, and she loved when I found things that matched her taste. Now, standing in the same market stalls, it feels both comforting and painful to carry forward these routines. Tomorrow, we’re going to a recital with Ritika’s children. The thought of being surrounded by music and creativity makes me nostalgic for all the events I attended with Sana and Maahir when they were young. Whether it was school performances, dance recitals, or sporting events, Sana always had a twinkle in her eye, and Maahir was her biggest cheerleader. Watching Ritika’s kids perform will surely bring a mix of emotions—joy in their achievements and a deep longing for those irreplaceable moments with my own children. Every moment I spend with Ritika’s family feels like a bridge to my past life with Sana. It’s as though I am reliving some of the happiest times while trying to balance the weight of loss. In small ways, these moments bring healing, even as I grapple with the enormity of grief. What else can we do, after all? Life continues forward, no matter how much we long for the past. I try to find solace in these shared experiences and small acts of love, knowing that in some way, they honor Sana and keep her spirit alive.