Parental Guilt and Low Self-Esteem in Children

Since childhood, Sana struggled with low self-esteem. She believed she wasn’t pretty, thought she wasn’t smart enough, and carried other negative perceptions about herself. Over time, this lack of self-worth deeply affected her mental health. Social media played a significant role, reinforcing these insecurities, as it often does for many young people today. As parents, we constantly wonder, Did we do something wrong? I struggle with this question every day, riding the waves of guilt, bouncing between what I did and what I could have done differently. Unfortunately, Sana isn’t here to answer those questions. So, I decided to ask Maahir, candidly, how he felt about his childhood. I wanted to know if there were things from the past that hurt him, moments that I missed, or times I could have been more present. It’s hard, as parents, to accept that we aren’t perfect. But it’s so important to engage in these difficult conversations with our children, to create a space for them to share their feelings openly. If we don’t, we might end up living with regret, as I am now. After reading one of Sana’s last letters, I’m left with a deep desire to ask her more—about her feelings, her fears, and her experiences. I can’t help but wonder: Was her struggle with self-esteem genetic, environmental, or purely a product of social media’s relentless pressure? I don’t have the answers, but what I do know is that we need to talk to our children more. Engage in these conversations before it’s too late. Ask them how they feel and what they think about themselves, because as parents, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present, listening, and understanding. Let’s not miss those opportunities to connect. You’ll never regret asking, but you might regret not knowing.