Carried by Love

Today, I’m starting my new part-time teaching job, and it feels unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Sana always encouraged me in my work. She was my biggest supporter, always proud of my efforts, and her belief in me gave me confidence. Normally, starting something new would feel exciting, a challenge I’d embrace head-on. I’ve never been one to shy away from new ventures; I’d dive right in, fueled by a sense of purpose. But this time is different. There’s no spark of joy or excitement, only a dull, lingering sense of anxiety. For the first time, I feel a lack of confidence that I can’t quite shake. Grief does that to you—it creeps into every corner of your life, shaking your foundations, altering the way you approach things that once felt familiar and steady. I never expected grief to impact me like this. I thought I’d be able to separate my emotions from my work, but it’s clear that grief doesn’t compartmentalize. It changes who you are, rattling even the parts of yourself that once felt so strong. So today, as I walk into this new chapter, I do so with the hope that Sana is with me, my angel by my side, rooting for me as she always did. I hope she’s there, holding my hand, giving me the strength I need to push through the uncertainty. Grief may shake you to your core, but love, even in its absence, can still carry you forward.