A Father’s perspective: Navigating the void left by Sana

The loss of a child is an indescribable pain that reshapes every aspect of a parent's life. From a father’s perspective, the void left by Sana is both a profound emptiness and a silent echo of the bond they shared. Sana absolutely loved her father, and they shared many similar traits that connected them deeply. Grieving Sana’s loss is a unique and solitary journey for him, different from the way her mother grieves. Sana was her father’s mirror in many ways. Her sense of humor, her stubborn determination, and her childlike curiosity about the world were all reflections of traits they shared. They had countless moments together where these similarities shone brightly. They had a similar taste in TV shows, spending countless hours watching episodes of The Office repeatedly, still laughing at the funny moments no matter how many times they had seen them. Their shared love for reading books meant many nights discussing their latest thoughts on different political views. These moments of connection, whether through f quiet evenings spent watching old movies, or animated discussions about the latest tech gadgets, created a bond that was deeply personal and profoundly comforting. As fathers, there is often a need to be the pillars of strength for their families. When Sana passed, her father found himself caught in a whirlwind of emotions that he felt he needed to control. There’s an expectation to be stoic, to hold everything together for everyone else. But inside, the grief is just as raw, just as consuming. The memories of Sana’s laughter, her infectious energy, and their shared moments constantly replay in his mind, bringing both a smile to his face and tears to his eyes. Mothers grieve differently.As parents we both lost the same precious person, yet their expressions of that loss diverge. As Sana’s mother, I find solace in talking about her, in keeping her memory alive through stories and shared moments. For her father, the grief is often quieter, a heavy weight that he carries with him every day. He finds himself retreating into memories, reliving their moments together in a silent tribute to his daughter. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about her—he does—but sometimes, the words just don't come. The pain is too deep, the loss too profound. We both are navigating this grief together, yet apart. We support each other in our own way, understanding that our paths through this pain are different. I find comfort in tears and shared stories, while he finds his in solitude and reflection. This difference doesn’t mean the grieving is any less; it just means they grieve differently. One of the hardest parts of this journey is the feeling of helplessness. As a father, he always wanted to protect Sana, to ensure she was safe and happy. Her absence brings a sense of failure, an irrational but deeply felt notion that he couldn't shield her from the harshness of life. It’s a pain that cuts deeply, a wound that may never fully heal. In the quiet moments, he finds himself talking to Sana, telling her about his day, sharing his thoughts and feelings as if she were still there. It’s his way of keeping her close, of maintaining the connection that was so integral to his life. He also tries to honor her memory by embracing the traits they shared, by living in a way that would make her proud. Grieving as a father is a solitary journey filled with silent tears and whispered memories. Sana’s love for her father and the bond they shared continue to be a source of strength. While the void she left can never be filled, the memories of their time together bring comfort and a bittersweet joy.