The Ripple Effect of Grief on Relationships

The Ripple Effect of Grief on Relationships Grief has an absurd effect on relationships. A friend’s cousin, who tragically lost her 22-year-old son to an aneurysm, asked me how Sana’s passing had affected my relationship with Idris and Maahir. They say grief can make or break a relationship. Much like grief itself, the impact on relationships ebbs and flows with its ups and downs. As parents, we carry the weight of anger and guilt — two emotions that seem to intertwine and clash constantly. We spend our lives trying to protect our children, and when we lose them, the guilt becomes unbearable. With Maahir, I’ve become more involved — perhaps as a way to atone for the time and attention I feel I centered around Sana. It’s a subconscious attempt to make up for something that I wish I had balanced differently. My relationship with Idris, on the other hand, has been tested in ways I never imagined. The guilt and anger we both feel often push us into corners, blaming each other as if that will bring some form of relief. When I look back, I wish we had been better parents, even though I know we did the best we could with what we knew. Grief distorts memories and leaves behind relentless self-doubt. Navigating through this dark, endless tunnel feels like an isolating journey with no visible end. Who said grief follows any logic? I’ve built walls around myself to process my pain, while Maahir copes by keeping himself busy and avoiding conversations about Sana. Idris wants to talk about her constantly. Each of us carries our own version of the same loss, and the only way forward is to be patient with one another. Even Mia, our dog who will turn 11 in April, has unknowingly become a part of this tangled journey. Her ALS levels were recently elevated, mirroring the same elevated numbers that signaled the beginning of Sana’s illness. The fear gripped me all over again. The vet ruled out Cushing’s, but they need to run more tests. My mind immediately spiraled into the worst-case scenario. After losing Sana, I cannot fathom another loss. Every little health scare sends me into a state of panic — a reminder that grief doesn’t follow reason, only fear and emotion. Grief is not just about mourning the one you’ve lost — it changes the way you see the world and how you connect with those who are still here. The challenge is holding on to each other while we all grieve in different ways, even when the instinct is to pull away. The only way through this is patience, compassion, and learning to give grace — to others and to myself.