its 7 months- Italy, Istanbul, and India

its 7 months- Italy, Istanbul, and India Today, I left Italy with a heart weighed down by sadness. It was hard to say goodbye to my family there as I continued my journey to India. My layover in Istanbul gave me an opportunity to spend the night with my dear friend, Idil—a bittersweet stop that carried the echoes of Sana’s journey last year. Sana had visited Idil on her way to Italy, and revisiting those memories brought a wave of emotions. We sat together, reminiscing about Sana’s gentle and kind-hearted nature. Idil’s son, Niko, remembers her vividly. At his tender age, he is beginning to grasp the concept of death. Idil told me that when she explained Sana was unwell and might not be able to visit, he tearfully asked, “Is Ms. Sana dead?” His words broke my heart. Being with Idil was comforting because she genuinely loved Sana and felt her loss deeply. It was a brief yet meaningful encounter that provided some solace before I embarked on the next leg of my journey. Now, as I head to India, I find myself gripped with anxiety. This will be the first time I face my family since Sana’s passing. The thought of seeing my mom is both comforting and challenging. There’s an ache in my heart that only a mother’s love can ease. All I want to do is rest my head in her lap, even though she doesn’t know about Sana. The weight of that silence is both a shield and a burden. Today is bittersweet in more ways than one. Maahir turns 25, a milestone we should be celebrating with unbridled joy. But it also marks seven months since we lost Sana. It’s hard to reconcile the mix and I find myself navigating these conflicting emotions as best as I can. I no longer dare to hope that next year will be better. Trauma has taught me that life is unpredictable, and expectations often lead to heartbreak. Instead, I focus on getting through each day, finding solace in the little moments and hoping that the day ends on a peaceful note. This journey from Italy to India is more than just a physical transition; it’s a journey through love, loss, and the enduring power of memories. Each step forward feels like a tribute to Sana, a way to honor her presence in my life even in her absence.