A Journey of Reflection: From Italy to India, and Back in Time

A Journey of Reflection: From Italy to India, and Back in Time Finally, the day arrived for my long-anticipated trip to Italy and India. But instead of excitement, I was overwhelmed with anxiety—a suffocating, unexplainable dread that seemed to grow with each passing moment. Even Idris, who left for his own trip earlier, shared the same lack of enthusiasm. For both of us, travel, once a joyful escape, now feels weighted with memories and loss. Maahir, ever the thoughtful son, accompanied me to the airport. As we stood in the check-in line, I felt the past rushing back to me with startling clarity. It was as though time had folded in on itself. Just last year, I had been at this very spot, boarding a flight to India on the same day Sana returned from her trip to Italy. The memory of that day played out in my mind like a vivid film reel. Sana stood beside me at the Turkish Airlines counter, her jet lag apparent but her spirit ever bright. She carried a few pieces of clothing she had purchased in Italy, asking me to get them altered in India. Her practicality mingled with her usual charm, a moment so ordinary yet now so poignant. That memory brought a heaviness to my heart—a reminder of how much has changed in the span of a year. The lead-up to this trip was also marked by loss. Just a day before my departure, my uncle—my mom’s brother—passed away in Surat. He had always held a special place in our lives, especially for my mom, and I have countless memories of visiting him with Maahir and Sana during trips to Mumbai. His passing felt significant, yet strangely, I couldn’t cry. Grief has altered me in ways I’m only beginning to understand. Where once the loss of a loved one would have shattered me, now it feels like a distant echo. Maybe it’s numbness. Maybe it’s the enormity of the grief I carry for Sana, which has changed how I process everything else. Now, as I sit in the lounge in Istanbul during my layover, I can’t help but think about last year when Sana and I passed through this same route. She had made this stopover on her way back from Italy, and I was here preparing for my own journey. It’s surreal how places and moments seem to intertwine, bridging the past and the present in unexpected ways. Despite the heaviness in my heart, I am looking forward to the next part of my trip—seeing my niece and her family in Italy. They have always been a source of comfort and joy, and I know this visit will bring a sense of connection that I desperately need right now. This journey is not just a physical one; it’s a journey through time, memory, and emotion. It’s about confronting the weight of the past while trying to embrace the present. It’s about holding space for grief while finding glimpses of hope. Traveling this path without Sana feels like walking through a shadow, but in that shadow, there is her light. It guides me, reminds me of her love, and gives me the strength to keep moving forward.