Finding Light Amid Shadows

Spending time with Maahir and Serena has been a welcome distraction from our grief. Today, we visited the Bahá’í Temple, spent time shopping, and explored some thrift stores. There was laughter and warmth, but as with every moment since Sana’s passing, she was woven into the fabric of it all, present in spirit if not in sight. Evanston is beautiful, yet walking around its quiet streets took us back to Princeton’s downtown, where, as a family, we spent one last precious day together after Sana’s surgery. That day, Maahir had taken her to a thrift store, and we all watched as she moved slowly around, admiring small treasures that caught her eye. That day, we also took what would become our final family photo together. Idris was visibly overwhelmed then, and the memory of it broke through today, bringing fresh tears he could not hold back. Grief, with its unpredictable waves, found us again as we walked Evanston’s streets. Later, when we returned home, we gathered together and talked about Sana—our memories, our love, our loss. These past few days have been especially raw, and perhaps, in part, that’s because of a recent call from one of Maahir’s friends. His friend is deeply concerned for her roommate, a girl from Pakistan struggling with severe depression. I mentioned her situation in a previous post, and since then, I’ve been in touch with her mother, hoping to offer a sense of comfort and guidance. The conversation stirred painful memories of our own journey with Sana, her battles, and the heartache we endured by her side. Through all of this, I’ve begun to see a different side of Maahir—a maturity that has come from loss, a deep empathy, and a profound sense of responsibility that humbles me. I see his desire to protect, to nurture, to help where he can. In the silence of our home and the space Sana left behind, our family has become closer. Our conversations are more heartfelt, our hugs a little tighter, our appreciation for one another much deeper. I know this closeness is what Sana would have wanted.