Deja Vu

Deja Vu and the Weight of Memories As I scroll through Facebook, the memories section pops up. A digital time capsule, it presents glimpses of happier times, seemingly ordinary moments forever preserved. Today, it happened again. I saw a post, a memory from a few years ago, where Sana and I had exchanged funny comments, a playful banter on a random day. It felt like a wave of déjà vu – a sensation of reliving something from the past, a fleeting moment of emotional familiarity. Déjà vu can feel surreal, as if time is folding in on itself, blurring the lines between now and then. For me, these moments often evoke a sense of longing for a time when life felt lighter, when Sana was just a message, a call, or a room away. But the sensation of déjà vu, while eerie, also reminds me of the deep connection I had with her. Every memory triggers not just a sense of loss but also an overwhelming love. Scrolling through the comments of old Facebook posts, I’m reminded of how Sana was always present, engaging with me, her friends, and our family. She was the kind of person who left her mark in every interaction. Her witty replies, her bright smile captured in a candid photo – these snapshots bring a smile to my face even as they tug at my heart. But it's not just these digital remnants that provoke this feeling. It’s the way certain days, places, or even smells can instantly transport me back to a moment with her. It’s as if Sana is still walking beside me, leaving behind whispers of her presence in the most unexpected ways. In these moments of déjà vu, when time seems to collapse and memories rush in, I’m reminded that grief isn't linear. Some days, it feels like I’ve made progress, that I’ve adjusted to this new reality. Other days, a simple Facebook post can unravel that delicate balance, sending me spiraling back into the raw emotions of losing Sana. And yet, even in those moments of pain, there’s comfort in the reminder of her existence, in knowing that she lived, laughed, and loved so fully. These small acts – revisiting old posts, encountering déjà vu – might seem trivial to some. But for those of us navigating the deep waters of grief, they are anchors, keeping us tethered to the memories of our loved ones. Sana may not physically be here, but her spirit, her energy, continues to echo through these seemingly mundane digital footprints. And perhaps, just maybe, each moment of déjà vu is Sana’s way of reminding me that she’s still with me, watching, guiding, and sharing in the love that will forever transcend time and space.