Emptiness as an emotionality

Today, I want to talk about a feeling that has become all too familiar—a deep emptiness that grief leaves behind. It’s not just a void in the heart, but a hollow that seems to fill every part of your being, sapping away motivation, interest, and joy. It’s a feeling of overwhelming sadness, a haunting presence that lingers, reminding you constantly of what you’ve lost. This emptiness isn’t something that comes and goes; it’s a constant state, a shadow that follows you through every moment. It’s filled with memories—some sweet, some painful—that replay in your mind like an old film. There’s a helplessness that comes with it, knowing that no matter what you do, you can’t change what’s happened or bring back the person you miss so deeply. As Idris and I made our way to Chicago, we found ourselves reminiscing about Sana. We talked about the smallest details, the little things that made her who she was. Each memory was a way to soothe the absolute emptiness we feel in our lives now. It’s as though by holding onto these memories, we’re trying to fill that hollow space, if only for a moment. But as painful as it is, I’ve come to realize that this emptiness is a natural part of the grieving process. It’s a reflection of the love we have for Sana, a love that doesn’t fade just because she’s no longer here with us. And while this emptiness is hard to bear, I’ve learned not to resist it. It’s part of our journey, a necessary step in learning to live with our loss. Grief isn’t something you can hurry through or fix; it’s something you have to experience and process in your own time. This emptiness, as difficult as it is, is a sign that we’ve loved deeply. And while it may never fully go away, I believe that in time, it will soften, making room for new memories and joys, even as we carry the old ones with us. So, if you’re feeling this emptiness too, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel this way, to reminisce and remember. It’s all part of the process—a process that, while painful, is also a testament to the depth of our love and the strength of our connections. And in that, there is a kind of beauty, even amidst the sorrow.