A Night of Tears and Healing: The Importance of Family Conversations in Grief

We’ve finally settled into our apartment in Chicago—a move we had planned together as a family back in January. It was supposed to be a fresh start for all of us, but now, every step feels heavy with emotion. We’ve kept Sana’s room just the way we think she would have liked it. Her wall is painted lilac, a color she loved, and her artifacts and furniture are carefully placed in the way she would have arranged them. As I unpack her belongings, I feel her presence so strongly, as if she’s right here with me. Sana was always so organized, and she hated clutter. I can imagine that by now, if she were here, her room would be perfectly in order, every little thing neatly in its place. As I move through her room, organizing, folding, and arranging, I can almost hear her voice telling me what belongs where. Maahir comes by every day, and it’s been my saving grace. Just having him around brings a little bit of comfort in this new, unfamiliar chapter. Last night, we went out for dinner and drinks, but the weight of our emotions caught up with us. Her friend Anna had recently visited Sana’s grave in New Jersey and left a tiara on her headstone—Sana always loved tiaras, and her friends knew that well. It was such a thoughtful, touching gesture, one that brought us all back to her in that moment. As we sat together, we began to talk about Sana, how amazing her friends are, and all the little things that made her who she was. Inevitably, the “what ifs” and “whys” came up, mixed with tears and the familiar ache of loss. It was an evening of emotions and tears—something we haven’t shared as a family in quite some time. Maahir confessed how much he misses her, and it felt like he finally had the space to vent. It was a release of many pent-up emotions, a flood of words and tears that had been bottled up for too long. We all felt her presence so strongly during that time together. It reminded me of how powerful words and tears can be as tools for healing. Families, especially those in grief, need to have these kinds of conversations. It’s so important to talk about how you’re feeling, even if it seems insignificant at the time. Last night was all about remembering Sana, sharing those special memories and little moments that defined her. As we talked, we realized there were things about Sana we hadn’t fully appreciated when she was with us, things we wished we had told her. It’s so important to say these things to one another, to validate and express our love, because there are no certainties in life. If you’re grieving, find the time to have these talks with your family. Share those memories, vent your emotions, and lean on one another. It’s a step towards healing, and it’s something we all need, even if it’s difficult. Last night reminded me that these conversations are not just important—they are essential.