A knot in the stomach

A Knot in the Stomach: Reflections on Anxiety and Sana First, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to everyone who contributed to the Caring for Cambodia fund in honor of Sana. Knowing that her passion for education and service lives on through this project brings comfort in ways words can’t fully capture. Today, I want to reflect on something deeply personal — anxiety. It’s such a common phenomenon, yet so many live in denial of its presence or power. Sana experienced anxiety from a very young age. For her, even the simplest things could feel overwhelming. In the beginning, I didn’t understand it fully. I would tell her, “Just let it go.” But anxiety doesn’t work like that. It anchors you, drags you into overthinking, and refuses to release its grip. It’s like being thrown into deep water without knowing how to swim. Each time you try to rise, you feel yourself pulled under again. Sana was also deeply non-confrontational. She avoided conflict whenever she could. I remember the last time she faced a difficult situation at her workplace. It triggered her anxiety so strongly that she described it as a knot in her stomach and a heaviness, a fullness she couldn’t shake. As her mother, I tried to support her. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I always used the right strategies. Love was never in doubt, but understanding anxiety — truly understanding it — is complex. Lately, I’ve found myself feeling something very similar. Nothing life-altering, just the normal teething problems at work. And yet, I too feel that same knot in my stomach, that same fullness she once described. It makes me pause and wonder: is this a coincidence? Or is the universe showing me a glimpse of what Sana felt, so I can understand her more deeply now? They say mothers can instinctively feel their children’s pain. Perhaps this is my way of walking, even briefly, in her shoes. What I do know is this: anxiety is real, it’s powerful, and it deserves compassion — both from ourselves and from those around us. Sana’s journey continues to teach me that. And even now, through these echoes of her experience, I feel her guiding me toward greater empathy, patience, and understanding.