The Kindness I Learned from Sana

Today, in the middle of a conversation between close friends, a small misunderstanding came up. It was about whether talking about someone behind their back meant gossip—or whether it could sometimes come from a place of care. In that moment, my mind went straight to Sana. Sana never spoke about her friends—or anyone, really—unless she truly needed to vent. Even then, it was rare. She could be deeply upset with someone, but she had this remarkable ability to let go and forgive quickly. I’ve learned that forgiving and letting go are not easy. They are rare qualities, and I believe they come from a heart that is wired differently—one that values compassion over holding on to hurt. Sana was also deeply nonjudgmental. She would get upset with me if I ever called someone fat, thin, or ugly. This trip to India, I’ve noticed how casual judgment can be, how quickly it’s accepted as part of everyday conversation. I can almost picture Sana squirming every time she heard someone make a comment about another person’s appearance or life choices. Looking back, I realize I didn’t always appreciate just how remarkable this was. My mother used to say, Sana is the kindest.At the time, I heard it. Today, I feel it. I now see these qualities for what they were: a quiet strength, a deep well of empathy, and a kindness that asked for nothing in return. If only I had told her more often how much that meant.