Understanding That One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Understanding That One Size Doesn’t Fit All Yesterday at school, one of my students—someone I also had last term—had a heartfelt conversation with me. She opened up about recently experiencing two miscarriages and shared how deeply her mental health had been affected. Her therapist had diagnosed her with depression, and she was working hard to stay busy with school and exercise to help keep herself afloat. She also mentioned that her therapist had recommended journaling as a coping strategy. But every time she tried to journal, she felt overwhelmed and anxious. Her words struck a familiar chord. This was exactly what Sana used to say to me. I would often encourage Sana to journal because it had helped me process my own thoughts. But Sana always said, “It makes me feel even more anxious.” I struggled to understand it back then. Sana was such a talented writer. Words came to her so easily—effortlessly, even. But journaling wasn’t about crafting stories or essays. It was about pressing down on your most private thoughts and expressing them openly. For Sana, that act wasn’t liberating. It was suffocating. It was a reminder of something I’ve learned through the years: Depression is fluid. It doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all solution. What helps one person can overwhelm another. And no matter how many coping strategies are suggested, they don’t all work for everyone. When my student shared her experience with me, I didn’t offer advice. I didn’t try to push her toward journaling or suggest another coping mechanism. I simply said, “I understand.” And I told her not to be too hard on herself. Sometimes, that’s all we need. To feel seen. To know that someone understands. There is no manual for healing. Some days, we find something that helps. Other days, it’s okay if all we can do is take a deep breath and try again tomorrow.