A Birthday Wrapped in Memories and Longing

A Birthday Wrapped in Memories and Longing Today is Idris’s birthday, a day that feels heavy with both celebration and loss. Just last year, we were eagerly preparing to visit Chicago for Thanksgiving and to mark his special day with the kids. Sana was with us then, her laughter and presence lighting up our time together. Who could have imagined that just a year later, we would be facing this milestone without her? The reality of her absence still feels wrapped in a blanket of disbelief, a truth we continue to grapple with every day. This year, the day was especially hard, particularly for Idris. She was his confidante, his spirited ally, and her absence has left a void no one can fill. To ease the weight of the day, we went out for dinner last night with Maahir and Serena to a Spanish tapas restaurant. The meal was lovely, but it carried an unspoken heaviness. Two years back, for his birthday, we had gone to a similar tapas place in Singapore with Sana. The parallels were impossible to ignore, and though none of us said it aloud, she was on all our minds. For today’s celebration, we decided to do something that felt close to her spirit. We went to the zoo—a place that brought Sana boundless joy. It was her happy place, where she felt truly free and alive, marveling at the animals and soaking in the simple wonders of life. I can still picture her at the zoo, her eyes lighting up as she admired each exhibit, her happiness infectious. To honor her memory, we wanted to spend the day doing something she loved. As we walked through the zoo, her absence was a constant ache, but it also brought us closer to her. We could feel her presence in the quiet moments, in the laughter we tried to muster, and in the shared memories that connected us. The day was a bittersweet tribute to her, a reminder of the joy she brought into our lives and the immense pain of her loss. Celebrating Idris’s birthday without her was indescribably hard. The ache of missing her is something we carry every day, but on days like these, it feels even more profound. Yet, even through the pain, there is gratitude—gratitude for the memories we shared and for the ways she continues to inspire and guide us. We miss her more than words can say, and we always will.