Overcompensation Coping with Trauma as a Parent

Overcompensation Coping with Trauma as a Parent Yesterday, Maahir was robbed outside his apartment. They approached him under the guise of seeking a donation, then took his phone and used Apple Pay to send a large sum of money to themselves. He was understandably shaken by the incident, and so were we. But amidst the fear and anxiety, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that he was unharmed. Last night, I couldn’t sleep, consumed by the thought of what could have happened. This fear is something most parents understand, but it becomes even more intense when you’ve already lost a child. Losing Sana has made me incredibly overprotective of Maahir. Every incident, every close call, feels amplified, and the dread of losing another child hangs heavily over me. In the middle of all this, Maahir tried to lighten the mood with a joke, “Mom, do you even care? I was robbed!” I reassured him, “Yes, Maahir, I do care deeply. It’s traumatic for me as well.” It was a moment that highlighted how trauma affects both of us, in different yet interconnected ways. As I lay awake, my mind wandered to parents who have lost their only child. How do they cope with such an all-encompassing loss? The thought is heart-wrenching. It made me realize that my fears, my heightened protectiveness, and my constant worry are natural responses to the trauma I’ve experienced. It's okay to overcompensate and be overprotective in a situation like mine. It's a way of coping, a way of trying to ensure that the unbearable pain of losing a child doesn’t repeat itself. I am deeply grateful for Maahir, and I try to cherish every moment with him. This incident was a stark reminder of the fragility of life and how quickly things can change. In the end, we have to find our own ways to navigate through the trauma and fear. For me, being overprotective is a way to manage my anxiety and safeguard the precious life of my remaining child. It’s a delicate balance between giving him the freedom to live his life and my instinct to shield him from every possible harm. But through it all, I remind myself to hold on to gratitude and to cherish the time we have together.