Healing Power of Tears

We finally returned to New Jersey on Sunday. Coming back was incredibly difficult, especially facing the apartment where it all happened. After Sana’s passing, I was in shock, and family and friends thought I was strong, carrying on with life. The truth is, I wasn’t. Shock paralyzed my brain, preventing me from fully processing the grief. Being in Chicago allowed me to process it piece by piece. But here, in New Jersey, it all came flooding back. The memories, the emotions—everything resurfaced with a vengeance. Upon arrival, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of dread and sorrow. It was as if my brain opened up locked gates to a torrent of past memories. One piece of advice from my friend Huma and my therapist was to cry, not just silently but loudly. In Rahway, I sat in Sana’s room, clutching her favorite sweatshirt, and I howled with all my might. It felt like the only way to begin releasing the overwhelming grief that had built up inside me. Yesterday, we decided to visit one of Idris’ favorite breakfast spots. Every time we went there, Sana would roll her eyes and say, “Not again, Papa.” It was bittersweet, revisiting a place filled with such strong memories of her. After breakfast, we made our way to the cemetery. I still couldn’t believe she was gone. I sat by her grave, tears streaming down my face, and cried loudly into the open space. As a small gesture, I placed a colorful pinwheel on her grave, hoping it would continue spreading her sunshine around. On the way back, Idris asked if crying loudly felt better. He struggles to do it . Unfortunately we are brought up with the notion that ocrying is a sign of weakness, a common cultural myth. But crying is therapeutic. It doesn’t mean I’m hurting or grieving any less; it just means my heart, overflowing with pain, needed release. Afterward, I could come home and start sorting Sana’s belongings. Letting go is the hardest part, but I know it's necessary. It’s okay not to be strong. How can anyone be strong after a tragic loss? I want to convey that crying, especially loudly, is profoundly therapeutic. Don’t feel ashamed of it. Silent tears have their benefits, but crying from the bottom of your heart offers a different kind of release. Don’t push yourself to be strong after a tragic loss. How can one stay strong after losing someone so dear? Let yourself grieve fully and openly. It's an essential part of healing. It was a challenging day, filled with tears and emotional release, but also a step towards healing. I hope anyone reading this understands that crying is not a sign of weakness, but a powerful act of letting go and moving forward. Let your emotions flow, and don't be afraid to grieve loudly. Your heart will thank you for it.