The Heart’s Longing: A Parent’s Desire to Stay Close to Their Children

The Heart’s Longing: A Parent’s Desire to Stay Close to Their Children I always wanted to be close to my kids. That was the reason for not wanting to stay on in Singapore. Moving to the US was driven by the vision of a life lived next to my children. "You can’t follow your kids" is something I heard over and over again, but is it wrong to want to be close to your kids? As parents, do our responsibilities end once our children have grown up? Why is this notion looked down upon and frowned upon? The bond between a parent and child is one of the most profound connections in life. From the moment our children are born, we are their protectors, guides, and unwavering sources of love. This bond doesn’t simply dissolve when they reach adulthood. Our desire to remain close is not about overstepping boundaries or hindering their independence; it’s about continuing to nurture a relationship that remains central to our lives. When I decided to move from Singapore to the US, it wasn’t just about changing geography. It was about being there for my children in the most meaningful way possible. Being close meant more than physical proximity; it was about being a part of their lives, sharing in their joys and supporting them through challenges. For me, envisioning a future next to my kids was a natural extension of the love and care that defined our relationship. Yet, society often views this desire with skepticism. The notion of following your kids is frequently looked down upon, seen as overbearing or intrusive. There is an underlying assumption that once children become adults, parents should step back, relinquishing their roles entirely. But is this fair? As parents, we don't cease to care or stop wanting to be involved in our children’s lives just because they’ve grown up. Our responsibilities as parents evolve rather than end. Yes, our children need space to grow and forge their own paths, but that doesn't mean we must distance ourselves emotionally or physically. The wisdom and experience we bring can still be valuable, providing a steady presence in their lives. The balance lies in respecting their independence while staying connected in a supportive, loving manner. This cultural notion that parents should keep a distance is particularly strong in some societies. It’s often viewed as a sign of respect for their autonomy. But wanting to be close to our children doesn't inherently conflict with their independence. It’s possible to be a part of their lives without intruding, to offer support without overstepping boundaries. For me, moving to the US was about creating a life where I could continue to be an integral part of my children’s journey. It was about shared experiences, everyday moments, and the comfort of knowing that family is always nearby. This decision stemmed from love, not control. It was about cherishing the bond we share and ensuring it remains strong despite the passage of time and the changes life brings.